Nearly 1 in 3 Parents Secretly Hoped for a Girl—Here’s What Our Poll Revealed

Key Summary

When you’re expecting a baby, one of the first questions friends and family ask is, “Do you hope it’s a boy or a girl?” Many parents insist they simply want a healthy baby—but the reality is often more nuanced.

To better understand how Canadian parents really feel, Canadian Parent asked members: “Be honest: During your last pregnancy, did you have a gender preference?” More than 4,100 parents responded.

Here’s what they told us:

• No gender preference — 48.8%
• Hoping for a girl — 29.3%
• Hoping for a boy — 21.9%

While nearly half of parents truly had no preference, a significant number admitted they were quietly hoping for one sex over the other.

Why Do Parents Have Gender Preferences?

Having a preference doesn’t mean loving one child more than another. Psychologists say gender preferences often stem from personal experiences, family dynamics, or dreams people developed long before becoming parents.

Some common reasons include:

• Wanting to experience parenting both a son and a daughter.
• Growing up with siblings of one gender and imagining the same for their own family.
• Hoping to carry on family traditions.
• Feeling more confident raising one gender based on previous experience.
• Simply picturing their future family a certain way.

For parents expecting their first child, preferences are often tied to lifelong expectations. For those already raising children, the desire may be more about balancing the family than favouring one gender.

Understanding Gender Disappointment

One topic that’s becoming more openly discussed is gender disappointment—feelings of sadness, grief, or loss when parents learn their baby’s sex doesn’t match what they had hoped for.

Although the term can sound harsh, mental health professionals emphasize that these emotions are surprisingly common—and usually temporary.

Parents experiencing gender disappointment often report feeling guilty because they know they should simply be grateful for a healthy pregnancy. Those conflicting emotions can make it difficult to talk openly about how they feel.

Importantly, experiencing disappointment does not predict how much a parent will love or bond with their baby. Research and clinical experience suggest that once babies are born, those feelings typically fade as parents build a relationship with their child.

Why Talking About It Matters

Social media often creates the impression that every gender reveal is filled with immediate excitement and celebration. In reality, some parents quietly need time to adjust.

Experts encourage parents to acknowledge those emotions without shame rather than suppressing them. Talking with a partner, trusted friend, healthcare provider, or counsellor can help normalize those feelings and prevent unnecessary guilt.

Recognizing gender disappointment as a normal emotional response—not a reflection of someone’s ability to parent—can make the experience far less isolating.

Does Finding Out the Baby’s Sex Change Expectations?

Advances in prenatal screening and ultrasound technology mean many expectant parents now learn their baby’s sex months before delivery. While some families still choose to keep it a surprise, others find that learning early helps them feel more prepared.

Knowing the baby’s sex often influences practical decisions like choosing a name, decorating a nursery, buying clothes, or imagining what life might look like after birth. Those early expectations can also make parents more emotionally invested in one outcome over another, even if they didn’t realize they had a preference beforehand.

Interestingly, many parents report that their feelings evolve over the course of pregnancy. Someone who initially hoped for a girl may quickly become excited after learning they’re having a boy, while others need a little more time to adjust to a different vision of their growing family. Both experiences are considered completely normal.

Every Child Brings Their Own Personality

Perhaps the biggest lesson many experienced parents share is that personality matters far more than gender.

Whether raising boys, girls, or a mix of both, parents often discover their children have completely unique interests, temperaments, and strengths that don’t fit traditional stereotypes. Many parents who initially hoped for one gender later say they can’t imagine life any other way.

What Our Poll Suggests

While 48.8% of parents said they truly had no gender preference, the remaining 51.2% admitted they entered pregnancy with at least a slight hope for either a boy or a girl.

Rather than viewing those preferences as controversial, the results highlight something very human: many parents imagine what their future family will look like long before they meet their baby. The good news is that those early expectations rarely define the parent-child relationship. For most families, the excitement of welcoming a new baby quickly overshadows any initial preference.

What the Research Says

While conversations around gender preference have become more open in recent years, research suggests these feelings are far from unusual. The American Psychological Association and many perinatal mental health professionals note that complicated emotions during pregnancy—including gender disappointment—are not uncommon. Studies have found that many expectant parents form hopes or expectations about their baby’s sex long before birth, often influenced by family traditions, childhood experiences, cultural norms, or simply imagining what their future family will look like.

Perinatal mental health experts also emphasize that these feelings are usually temporary. Research and clinical experience show that initial disappointment rarely affects the long-term bond between parent and child. As pregnancy progresses—and especially once a baby is born—most parents report that those early expectations quickly give way to excitement, attachment, and love for the child they have.

Methodology

Canadian Parent surveyed 4,149 members using the question: “Be honest: During your last pregnancy, did you have a gender preference?” Results were collected through the Canadian Parent Rewards community. Percentages have been rounded where appropriate.

Cite This Study

Canadian Parent. Be Honest: During Your Last Pregnancy, Did You Have a Gender Preference? Canadian Parent Rewards Poll, 2026. Survey of 4,149 Canadian Parent members.

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